Amsterdam Festive Fun

From: paranoid about my paranoia
Message:
Stuart Borthwick wrote:

> Does anyone have the "10 things to do in Amsterdam" that I wrote a while
> ago? It's not in the knowledge base, but it should be.

Here's my top ten guide to Amsterdam. Bollocks to aall that house and
techno shit, give me wall to wall Pink Floyd and dub reggae.

1.On the "gentleman's canal" (ooh, er) lies Koan Float, a floatation and
massage centre. Book yourself in for an aromatherapy massage or an hour
floating in a Epsom-salt filled space bubble. A top way to start a very
mellow day. Must be booked in advance. Herrengracht 321 tel.5550333,
don't worry, they speak English.

2.The Amsterdam botanical gardens (Hortus Botanicus) can be found at 2a
Plantage Middenlaan. If you've had enough of the exotic herbs found in
other areas of Amsterdam then go and visit the tropical greenhouses and giant
palm house. A gentle stroll for an hour or so has wonderfully recuperative
powers (and only costs fl.10-)

3.The best bar in town is undoubtedly Wijnand Fockink Proeflokaal. This
is a traditional dutch "tasting room" and is therefore only open from 4-9.
It serves a variety of liqueurs and jenevers (some distilled on the
premises), and mixes some amazing gin-based cocktails. The address is
Pijlsteeg 31. Go to Dam Square, follow the tiny path to the side of the Hotel
Krasnapolsky, go through the glass doors half way down the path, it is on your left.
Order a Krasnapolsky from the English-speaking owner, and you're in very
heaven. If you go to one bar in Amsterdam, go here.

4.For beer, you're spoiled for choice, but if my mind serves me correctly
Molenpad, Prinsengracht 653, sells Leffe Blond on tap, and is a beautiful
trad. brown bar. Equally, just wander round the Jordaan (west of
Prinsengracht) and you're in old-Dutch bar heaven.

5.For more exotic stuff, again, you are spoiled for choice. My favourites
include Free I (a tiny place with exceptional weed, Reguliersdwarsstraat
70), Global Chillage (good for a bong), Kadinsky (stylish place, and
gorgeous hot chocolate and biscuits, Rosmarjnsteeg 6), the Siberie (on
the edge of the Jordaan, and a quiet place for a chill, Brouwersgracht 11
off Singel), Coffeeshop 36 (in the heart of the red light district, but if
you head to the back, you'll find an open window overlooking the Damrak
canal, walk along Warmoesstraat and you'll find it). My favourite is probably
Tweede Kamer, am oasis of calm, and a world away from the crap
coffeeshops in the red light district, board games, newspapers and other delights
in the most convivial of surroundings, Heisteeg 6, near the flower market.

6.Food? It's all here, and all edible (except the Indian curries, do not go
there). Because of its colonial links, Amsterdam's Indonesian restaurants
are particularly plentiful and offer good food (I wish I could remember
the address of the restaurant near Valkenburgerstraat/Oudeschans where you
have dinner cooked for you by the whole family, and where you go into the
family kitchen, point at what you want to eat, and then they cook it for you.)
If you want something typically Dutch, then go to canalside bar called
"The Prins" opposite Ann Frank Huis on the Prince's Canal (Prinsengracht)
and order one of their cheese fondues, which are amazing and reasonably
priced. If you're on a budget there's plenty of "eet cafes" and reasonably
priced food, you just have to find it.

7.Vondelpark is beautiful, and best explored on a hired bike. Don't forget
to go and have a drink on the terrace of Vertigo, the bar in the park that
is part of the Film Museum.

8.The Van Gogh museum, on Museumplein, contains most of Van Gogh's
important works (fixed exhibition) and has an architecturally brave and visually
exciting extension which houses temporary exhibits. Go to Museumplein
if only to have a look at the extension from the outside (although it is
an excellent gallery space inside as well).

9. Still smoking? Visit PGC Hajenius (Rokin 92-96) for all your cigar
smoking needs, and marvel in the wood panelling and atmospherically
controlled smoking rooms. An enormous shop containing more cigars than
you can shake a lighter at.

10.Get a Canal Bus. The slowest but most enjoyable way of getting round
the city. Buy a day's ticket and float around on three separate routes,
with stop offs at all the best tourist spots.

11.Clubs. Yeah, there are some there - probably. Roxy, Milkweg and
Paradiso are probably the best, but don't ask me, it's a good 5 years
since I set foot in a dutch club. If Dimitri is still resident, then go to The Roxy.

Personally I like to get twatted on super skunk and watching dwarfs
shite on brasses but then what do I know.