From: Andy
Message:
Larry Cohen, now in his 60s, first pitched Phonebooth to Alfred
Hitchcock in the Seventies. Hitchcock wasnt interested; the script was
shelved. 25 years later the original script was dusted off by Joel
Schumaker and filmed, apparently in a week, using one primary location:
the NY street on which the last phonebooth in New York stands, the day
before it is due to be demolished and replaced by a kiosk. Standing just
over 1.25hrs long, Phonebooth is a bracing thriller talkathon.
Stu (Colin Farrell) is a fast-bullshitting PR agent. Walking the city
streets with his multi-cellphone-carrying toady he works his angles,
teaching the toady new tricks as he walks. At a street corner they part
company and Stu walks to 53rd street and the phonebooth there. Its a
place Stu goes to everyday to call a young starlet (Katie Holmes) he has
on his books, an attempt to persuade her to meet with him. An attempt to
persuade her to sleep with him. An attempt that's interrupted by a fat
greasy pizza-delivery dude who has a pizza that Stu definately doesnt
want, suggests he eats it himself "because it looks like you could do
with a meal."
After he's spoken to her he puts the wedding ring he's previously
removed and placed on the phonebox back on his finger. And then the
phone rings. Stu picks up the receiver. Jack Bauer is on the other end
of the line, and Jack knows all about Stu. Jack knows he visits that
phonebooth everyday; knows /why/ he visits the phonebooth; knows that
Stu is married; has a sniper rifle pointed at Stu's chest, head, the
lasersight glinting red against Stu's Italian-carved suit. Jack wants
Stu's full attention because he has something important to discuss with
him: Stu's life.
Dont leave the phonebooth, Stu, Jack demands. Even tho youre being
harrassed by the smacktarts from the erotic vevue bar across the way.
Even tho theyve told their minder that the guy in the suit is hogging
the phone. Even when the minder comes across to have a barney with you
through the closed booth door and you give him money to go away, and he
does go away but only to return with a baseball bat to smash in the
window and try and drag you out through it, do not leave the phonebooth.
Stu. I can make this stop, Stu. Just give me the word. All you have to
do is give me the word, Stu, and this attack will stop.
BANG!
Gasp. What happens next?
Watch the goddamn film, Stu.
---
Now on to Cellular. Again from Larry Cohen, this time only the story.
The script was written by a guy called Chris Morgan (his first
screenplay) and directed by David Ellis whose previous work includes the
direction of Final Destination 2, a host of 2nd-unit directing on films
like Matrix Reloaded and Harry Potter, and a dazzling array of stuntman
and stunt-coordinator roles, in particular for, ahem, Baywatch and
Smokey and the Bandit. Make of that what you will cos its a pretty good film.
In this film our hero is Ryan, a young self-obsessed lad, recently
dumped by his girlfriend. He receives a phonecall from Kim Basinger. Not
bad going, you think, except that Kim (a high-school science teacher -
trust me this probably the furthest your disbelief will have to be
suspended, but it is pivotal to the plot. There's no way she wouldnt
been able to fix the dismanctured phone in the attic without some sort
of preliminary electronics training) tells him that she has been
kidnapped and can he help? Well, like any young man who's called by Kim
Basinger with such a ludicrous story he finds it difficult to suspend
his disbelief, but Kim's phone acting is so great he eventually relents
and takes the phone to William H. Macy, good cop on the edge of
retirement about to open a day spa with his wife. Macy is busy with some
French sea-sponges when Ryan drops by with Kim on the end of his phone.
He talks to Kim, writes down some of her details on the back of his
sea-sponge receipt but is stopped mid-scrawl when a riot breaks out in
the station foyer and he has to go and bust some balls.
He instructs Ryan to go upstairs to homicide but we quickly find out
that going inside buildings, well - this one at least, causes the signal
to fade, and there's no guaranteeing that Kim will be able to click the
right wires together at her end to get Ryan back, so Ryan leaves, jumps
in his jeep, and sets off to try and find her. Except he gets waylaid
when the kidnappers grab her son (Ricky Martin) from out of school, and
then her husband from the airport, and, godammit, then his phone needs
charging! At this point most of us would give up and go back to the pier
to hang out with our mate dressed in the whale costume, but not Ryan.
No. He's still got an hour of fast-driving, stealing, and punching to
do. And good cop Macy gets shoot someone.
You can probably guess that Kim doesnt end up at the bottom of Davey
Jones' Locker, not Ricky Martin, nor Kim's fella, and that there a sweet
reunion at the end between Kim and Ryan; it is a predicatable plot with
a well-worn, but well-played twist. But its fast and funny and
definately recommended even if you dont actually find out how the hell
Kim put that phone together. But maybe not as much as Phonebooth which
is slightly more recommended.
Andy
