Incredibles

From: Andy
Message:
I am facing South. In front of me stands a dwarf. The dwarf is trying to
tell me something. I know this because his mouth is moving faster than
my son can run. Behind the dwarf is a desk. On the desk is a piece of
paper – the dwarf has already gestured to that. I know what the writing
says without reading the page. I know what the writing says without
listening to the dwarf. His hot air fills the room. Im fired.

I am on the sixth floor. To the West is a window. It’s around four in
the afternoon. The sun is disappearing behind the low-slung district
buildings that surround this one. The window looks down on an alley. In
the alley one silhouetted figure is beating up another, knocking him
against the garbage tank, kicking him, demanding money. But Im cant
move. When I mention the attack to the dwarf he offers his hope that the
victim is one of our clients. Not mine tho. Im through selling insurance
apparently. Im firedI look back to the alley. The attacker has vanished.

To the East lie four holes, one in each of the four walls through which
ive hurled the dwarf. The dwarf is upside-down againt some lockers in
the corridor beyond. I’m being stared at through the holes in those
walls, mouths all agape. Sometimes I forget my own strength. Maybe its
time for another relocation.

I head North. Home.

--

This was the cliching moment for Bob Parr. For 15 years he’s been denied
his Superhero status by the Government following a particularly
rollercoaster night of getting cats out of trees, stopping getaway cars,
stopping suicide attempts, derailing trains and the work of Bon Voyage,
the French Pierrot bank heister. Not to mention the rescue of his
“biggest fan”, Buddy, after he flaccidly attempts help him out with his
night’s work.

Mr. Incredible works alone.

Bob Parr is Mr Incredible. Bob Parr is a plasticine marrionette come to
life. And he’s been inexplicably sued by all and sundry for doing the
work of a superhero. Thus the Government’s work to suspend all Superhero
activity and relocate all heros to Surbiton or the US equivalent
thereof. Where Bob, years later, found himself working for (and against)
a greyvanilla insurance company. Cubefarm central; angry boss. Where we
came in.

To be fair, it’s not actually true that Mr. Incredible works alone, not
since that night of cat rescuing, suicide, derailing train, heist and
fanboy stopping. On that night he also got married, To Helen, ne
Elastigirl. She’s pretty goddam flexible.

By /their/ side, and slightly smaller are the kids: Violet, Dash and
Jack Jack, presented in order of age. Typical kids but with – wait a
moment! – superpowers. At least Violet and Dash have. Jack Jack’s just a
gurggggling baby.

So, theyre a family of superheros that cant use their powers. What’s the
fucking use of that?!

Except Bob and his best mate Lucius (Frozone) are superheroing on the
side (“Just going bowling, honey”.) And theyre being tailed. And
eventually Bob is contacted by an organisation that needs its help to
stop a rogue robot. It’s a lifeline, better than selling insurance at
least, so he stretches his Mr. Incredible outfit over his 15 year-abused
flabby body and goes off to do battle (ahem, goes to a conference).
Watch out, Mr. Incredible.

--
Very cooly executed, simply and tightly written, with an excellent cameo
from the director himself as the voice of Edna Mode, this film had me
laughing out loud and on the edge of my seat in terrifying anticipation
more than any film since Speed which was ages ago. Watch it.