u know u've hit Daddism when...
1 You leave gigs before the encore to 'beat the rush'.
2 You get more excited about having a roast on Sunday than going
3 You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start
dreaming of having a son who might instead.
4 Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property
5 You prefer 'Later with Jools Holland' to 'Top of the Pops'.
6 All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 46, he's only 46.
7 Before going out anywhere, you ask what the parking is like.
8 Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them
because they'll be all right for the garden.
9 You buy your first ever t-shirt without anything written on it.
10 Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of
the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving
properties of a plastic winter cover for your garden bench and an
electronic mole repellent for the lawn. Not to mention the plastic man
for the car to deter would-be thieves.
11 You start to worry about your parents health.
12 You complain that ecstasy's 'not as pure as it used to be' cos you
know that if you have some it will take about 48 hours to recover and
anyway, you might look a bit of an idiot.
13 Sure you might have more disposable income but everything you want to
buy costs between 200 & 500 quid.
14 You no longer get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or Wallace
and Grommit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they're for your
15 Pop music all starts to sound crap.
16 You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut cos they don't have any
pictures on the menus and anyway they do a really nice half-bottle of
17 You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly furniture.
18 You always have enough milk in.
19 To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and
franchise pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have not
turned into your parents.
20 While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time
Team with Tony Robinson and get drawn in.
21 The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
22 You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B & Q.
23 You wish you had a shed.
24 You have a shed.
25 You actually find yourself saying 'They don't make 'em like that
anymore' and 'I remember when there were only 3 TV channels' and 'Of
course in my day..'
26 Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jimmy Young has
soon really interesting guests on these days.
27 Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus,
you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.
28 When sitting outside a pub, you become envious of their hanging
29 You make an effort to be out of the curry house by 11.
30 You come face to face with your own mortality for the first time, and
the indestructibility of the 20s gives way to a realisation that your
are but passing through this life and if you don't settle down soon and
have kids you'll have no one to look after you when you're old and frail
and incontinent and you can't go on pissing your life up against a wall
forever and think of how many brain cells you're destroying every time a
swift half turns into 10 pints, and look at that, a full set of
stainless steel saucepans for £99, they cost as much as £35 each if you
buy them separately, and you get a milk pan thrown in